They are out and I'm alive.

“Everything went well. You did just fine.” The surgeon went on the tell us that the Enbloc was performed succesfully. He was surprised by the amount of calcium and scar tissue. He spent a considerable amount of time scraping my rib cage to remove the scar tissue and did extensive muscle repair. The surgeon reported that the implants were noticeably softer than what he would expect for their age. It was noted too, that one of the implants had bubbles in it. This meant that air was getting in and other “stuff” was getting out. It made complete sense and led us to believe that it was probably the cause of the itch that I could NEVER scratch!

The recovery was easier than I thought it would be. The feeling of freedom was the best part about it. I could put behind the fears of the “safe” breast implants that lived inside of me. Admittedly, I was afraid to take the first post op look. What in the world were they going to look like? I was thrilled with the outcome and I felt like me again. I looked like me again. I was realizing that my whole body was quick to respond. Years of pain, confusion, brain fog, headaches, skins issues, anxiety and headaches were disappearing before our eyes.

With the exception of a few close friends and my family, I kept my surgery a secret. The implants came home with me and lived in my closet. They were a reminder of my fight and would give me courage to one day share my story. They will, one day, be needed to prove that implanted devices are not well studied. They will help determine that implantable devices can have long lasting and devastating effects on one's health, including a very rare form of cancer called Breast Implant-Associated Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma (BIA-ALCL) and many of these symptoms (my symptoms are ✔️):

FATIGUE ✔️
BRAIN FOG, MEMORY LOSS ✔️
MUSCLE AND JOINT PAIN ✔️
HAIR LOSS, DRY SKIN AND HAIR ✔️
PREMATURE AGING
WEIGHT PROBLEMS
INFLAMMATION ✔️
POOR SLEEP AND INSOMNIA ✔️
DRY EYES, DECLINE IN VISION ✔️
HYPO/HYPER THYROID SYMPTOMS ✔️
HYPO/HYPER ADRENAL SYMPTOMS ✔️
PARATHYROID PROBLEMS
HORMONE IMBALANCE, DIMINISHING HORMONES, EARLY MENOPAUSE ✔️
HYSTERECTOMY
LOW LIBIDO ✔️
SLOW HEALING, EASY BRUISING ✔️
THROAT CLEARING, COUGH, DIFFICULTY SWALLOWING, CHOKING, REFLUX, METALLIC TASTES
VERTIGO ✔️
GASTROINTESTINAL ISSUES SUCH AS ACID REFLUX, GERD, GASTRITIS
LEAKY GUT, IBS AND SIBO ✔️
PANCREATITIS
FEVERS, NIGHT SWEATS, INTOLERANT TO HEAT/COLD ✔️
PERSISTENT BACTERIAL, VIRAL, FUNGAL INFECTIONS
YEAST INFECTIONS, CANDIDA, SINUS AND UTI INFECTIONS
SKIN RASHES ✔️
EAR RINGING ✔️
SUDDEN FOOD INTOLERANCE AND ALLERGIES ✔️
HEADACHES, MIGRANES AND OCULAR MIGRANES ✔️
SLOW MUSCLE RECOVERY AFTER ACTIVITY ✔️
HEART PALPITATIONS, CHANGES IN NORMAL HEART RATE OR HEART PAIN ✔️
SORE AND ACHING JOINTS OF SHOULDERS, HIPS, BACKBONE, HANDS AND FEET ✔️
SWOLLEN AND TENDER LYMPH NODES IN BREAST AREA, UNDERARM, THROAT, NECK, GROIN
DEHYDRATION FOR NO REASON
FREQUENT URINATION ✔️
NUMBNESS/TINGLING SENSATION IN UPPER AND LOWER LIMBS ✔️
COLD AND DISCOLORED LIMBS, HANDS AND FEET ✔️
GENERAL CHEST DISCOMFORT SHORTNESS OF BREATH ✔️
PAIN AND OR BURNING SENSATION AROUND IMPLANT AND OR UNDERARM ✔️
LIVER AND KIDNEY DYSFUNCTION
GALLBLADDER PROBLEMS
TOXIC SHOCK SYMPTOMS
ANXIETY, DEPRESSION AND PANIC ATTACKS ✔️
FEELING LIKE YOU ARE DYING ✔️
SYMPTOMS OF FIBROMYALGIA ✔️
SYMPTOMS OF LYME DISEASE ✔️
SYMPTOMS OF EBV ✔️
SYMPTOMS OF AUTO-IMMUNE DISEASES SUCH AS; RAYNAUD’S SYNDROME, HASHIMOTO’S THYROIDITIS, RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS, SCLERODERMA, LUPUS, SJOGREN’S SYNDROME, NONSPECIFIC CONNECTIVE TISSUE DISEASE, MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS✔️
SYMPTOMS OF BIA-ALCL LYMPHOMA
DIAGNOSIS OF CANCER

So here I am. The secret is out. My silence was doing no one a favor. Getting implants was my mistake. It was also my mistake to not share what I learned from the journey.

As C.S. Lewis said, “ Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My god, do you learn.

Today, I can make it through a day without pain. I can breathe without anxiety. I can sleep. I can remember yesterday. Most importantly, I can pick up my baby girl that is almost 8. I’m making up for all the years that I couldn't hold my girl.